If you were to ask Kaz why she does it, she would be hard pressed to tell you, apart from the fact when she is Kaz she sees life differently, and it makes her happy. In her own words, we have an insight in to the life, loves, struggles and pleasure being a cross-dresser called Kaz has brought her.
Underneath the Kaz you see here, I am a man. I played a high standard of football until I was in my late 30’s, I own motorbikes and drive a sports car. I am both; and one cannot live without the other.
My first experience of the joy cross-dressing began was when I was 11 and went to the birthday party of a girl I fancied like mad. I went to use the toilet and there was a wash basket that I found a pair of her knickers in. I stole them, took them home and tried them on, and the rest is history!
I remember seeing the stocking tops of my auntie when I was around about the same age, and I soon found a pair of stockings to try on. Stockings were a lot more common in those days, and they felt so good against my legs! So, over my teenage years, my stash of women’s underwear, tights and stockings accumulated at the same pace as my stash of porn mags that I found in hedgerows.
In my early 20s I started working for what would be 35 years of my life in male dominated manufacturing jobs and bought my first house. Back in those days it was easy to order clothing from catalogues and have them delivered to your door.
You could try them on, repackage them and send them back. Perfect! This was way before online shopping and it provided a safe way for me to explore this side of my life.
There was no social media or Internet back then, and the only other cross-dressing articles I saw was an advert for transformation shops, that appeared in the News of the World Sunday paper. I realised I was not the only one. But at the same point as finding great excitement out of my little secret, I also felt rather alone and ashamed.
At 31 years of age, I met and married my first wife. I’d had several short-term girlfriends before this and had not told any of them about my guilty secret, but with my wife, I knew I had to.
Hindsight is a beautiful thing, and looking back on it now, I realise my wife was very insecure, but at the same time she was also very controlling. I decided to tell her when I met her about my guilty secret in order to be honest with her. After all we were planning to spend the rest of our lives together. But she decided that my secret was the best way to control me; often belittling me and putting me down because of my fetish.
Two children and nine years later we split up and, and in her last effort to control and belittle me she decided to ring all the contacts in my phone and tell them I was a cross dresser. But it backfired on her. My friends and family stood by my side, and not only did it save me from having to tell them myself, it was also a release for me to not have this part of my life hidden anymore!
As I grew, so did the technology, and soon the Internet arrived and through this I soon found out about places I could go to meet other cross dressers and be able to dress in a safe environment. I have always said that the biggest step in a cross dresser’s progression is to move from behind a door into a place where other people will see you, and this was my time to make that step, a step that changed my life.
From that day on I decided to be true to myself, to believe in myself and to be me, and not to be something I wasn’t to please other people.
With the help of friends I had made along my journey, who were also cross dressers, I started to attend different venues where I was able to dress and socialise as Kaz, which gave me the opportunity to talk to other cross dressers openly.
Life always has more instore for you than you initially thought, and though I intended never to remarry, these things come along just when you don’t expect and when I met my current wife, I again vowed to tell her about what was not so much a guilty secret anymore. We decided to see where our life took us, and we started this life together, though at the beginning she didn’t really understand the complexities of a bloke wanting to wear a dress. It took time and patience, as I knew it wasn’t going to go away, but over the years I have continued to develop it with her help!
Oh, and by the way, I didn’t tell you the name of that girl I fancied when I was 11 did I, she was Karen; and that’s why I am Kaz!
I don’t know where Karen is, but I’d love to meet her and let her know the influence she has had on my whole life 🤣
In sharing her story, Kaz hopes to share the love, and not the prejudice that people attach to cross-dressing and in her own way, shine a light in the darkness for others who may be struggling with their own story.
If anyone is thinking of taking their first steps into cross-dressing, why not check out the services Be A Lady has to offer; and make those first steps fabulous!
Love team Nice ‘n’ Naughty
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