The Most Bizarre Sex Stories!
As we’re celebrating Halloween at the end of this month, which is the spookiest and strangest time of year, we wanted to share with you the most bizarre, weirdest and funniest sex stories we could find. Some of them may completely freak you out, others will make you LOL and the rest will make you cringe and squirm! I looked at a bunch of different articles on the internet to grab the best I could find to give you something outraging and hilarious to read on your early morning commutes, lunch breaks and late-night scrolling.
The Best from Cosmopolitan
You’ve got to love Cosmopolitan, whether you’re gathering research on the hottest sex toys or trying to find some naughty sex tips, they’re a gift that keeps on giving and their content is endless! Thankfully to help me out on my own bizarre sex story piece, they’ve created a naughty article on “16 dirty sex stories from real life people”.
A favourite from this list has to be number 9!
- "He called me 'daddy'"
"Cross-dressing and sex was one of the sexiest thing I've ever experienced with my bf. It's surreal, sex was about an hour long. During the sex we were role-playing, too. From me being in my normal 'dirty baby girl' to all of sudden dominating my bf and call him baby girl and him calling me daddy. It was just so fucking hot." [via]
- "I never thought I'd be into butt play"
"I gave my boyfriend a rim job while we were 69ing. I just went for it and damn! I never thought I'd be into that but he was always curious and wanted it from me so I gave it a go. Now I'm even more curious to play with his butt." [via]
Women’s Health Mag’s Sex Stories that’ll make you LOL!
Women’s health mag isn’t just about health, diet and exercise, oh no! They discuss so many more interesting stuff and of course, our favourite topic of all, SEX! I’ve found an article they did that features sex stories to make you laugh out loud from real life women and I’ve picked out the best ones just for you!
"This man had popped a couple of Tic Tacs while he was down there."
"I was hooking up with this guy who didn't like giving oral. But I pushed him on it, because equality, and he finally agreed to give it a try. As soon as he got started, I remember feeling something weird down there tingling and burning. I soon realized that this man had popped a couple of Tic Tacs in while he was down there without letting me know. WTH, dude?!" —Isabelle M., 26
"He went from 30 to 80 in a matter of seconds."
"I was finally hooking up with a guy I liked. But when things started heated up, he pulled out his dentures. He went from 30 to 80 in a matter of seconds and the sex appeal just completely wore off." —Tara Y., 32
"It's still some of the hottest sex I've ever had."
"My boyfriend and I were all about high-risk sex. So one night we decided to have sex in the living room while my mom and aunt were in the kitchen prepping dinner. While my mom shouted out questions like, ‘What sides do you want?' and I answered loudly, 'Corn is good,' he was inside me. It's still some of the hottest sex I've ever had." —Veronica A., 24
Men’s Health 12 Embarrassing Sex Stories, “they’re Funny and Deeply Horrifying At the Same Time”
Men’s Health like my beloved Cosmopolitan, talk about everything you could possibly hope for from the best sex toys around to tips on how to get it up and last all night long. This article I’ve found has some pretty shocking revelations from real life men this time, some of them are just hilarious! I always love to hear the others perspective and what they feel embarrassed about during sex because it’s not just women!
"I couldn’t put my condom on."
Image by Sasin Tipchai from Pixabay
“Clearing it up, I know how to put on condoms. I don’t use them all the time, but I know how to use one. This one time I was so wasted and I couldn’t process what was happening and I couldn’t figure out how to put the condom on and she had to put it on me. It’s also safe to say sex was pretty bad too, and I couldn’t keep it up. The whole night was embarrassing.” —Jim*
"I came in her face."
“My girlfriend and I don’t use condoms, but we also don’t [have] me to finish in her just to be extra safe with pregnancy, even though she takes birth control. So I usually have control over my aim but this one time I pulled out when on top and squirted all over her face. It got in her eyes and everything. She wasn’t too mad but I was embarrassed and got all red.” —Patrick*
"My gum fell out of my mouth."
“Sometimes I have sex when chewing gum. This one time I was on top of her and I ended up spitting the gum on her face and hair. It got stuck in her hair and we needed to stop sex to get it out.” —Cameron*
As I’ve been prowling the internet to give some of the best, weirdest, funniest and most bizarre sex stories there is, I found one article by ‘Times of India’, a publication I haven’t come across before but their article was titled ‘6 weird sex stories shared by women’ so I had to check it out. There’s one I didn’t find particularly weird, just seriously hot! It goes to show how the powerful the imagination is when thinking about a new sex practice such as BDSM. Here it is…
Number 5 - The pleasure of ‘discussing’ BDSM
“My husband and I have just started to explore the Gentle Femdom genre of BDSM. Recently we had an opportunity to discuss the implications of this to our sex lives and our relationship in general. We were driving home from a holiday and the kids were asleep in the back seat. Our conversation around the new found love for BDSM started becoming animated. The conversation led to more than the mechanics of this kink and became intense. After about half an hour of this discussion, I felt wet. I thought that it cannot be an ejaculation but some kind of a spontaneous release of fluid. It was a pleasant sensation but not a regular orgasm. After reaching home when I checked myself, to my surprise I found that it was indeed an ejaculation”.
More Goss from Cosmo…
Of course, Cosmopolitan has even more gritty content for us, they’re article ‘Weird Sex Stories’ is even better then the dirty sex stories I’ve just shared with you. It features 11 stories from real life women who were freaked out by their partners sexual desires at the time as it wasn’t pre-discussed. So, as you can imagine, if someone starts fingering you with their toe because they’ve got a massive foot fetish, you’re going to be a little bit startled right? Let’s have a look at what the best ones were…
- "I watched him stick a metal rod up his penis"
"I hooked up with this very sweet guy, but after some pretty alright sex, he started talking about how he once had to have a catheter in, and how sexy it was, and how much he liked it, and then asked me if I knew what sounding was, and then pulled out a little case of sounding rods and a giant bottle of lube and asked me if I wanted to do it to him, or just watch. So I watched. It was not at all arousing but it was legitimately fascinating to see how it worked, and he seemed to really enjoy it. But that was the last time we hooked up because the idea of sticking a metal rod up a man's penis makes my genitals worried." [via]
I quite liked this story because we love fetish toys and sounding, using urethral probes are available to buy here at Nice n Naughty’s online sex shop. We’ve got an extensive selection of sounding probes to offer our kinky males if you’re interested.
- "I was in handcuffs and he had a seizure"
"I was in a BDSM relationship with a fella and one night I was blindfolded, handcuffed, thighs chained together while we were full on going at it. He'd recently had brain surgery (VERY recently, like a couple months previous) and was still having some problems. Mid-thrust, he pulled out, said, 'Hang on a minute, babe,' and proceeded to go into a grand mal seizure. Luckily -- and this was unusual -- my hands happened to be cuffed in front of me, so I was able to get the blindfold off to see why the hell he made that weird noise. Still cuffed and chained, I managed to get him rolled on to his side - thank god we were on the bed and he hadn't rolled off. I couldn't find the handcuff keys. I managed to get the chains off my legs and about that time he came back around. I asked him where the cuff keys were and he looked at me like he had no idea what any of those words meant. Then he noticed I had handcuffs on and in all sincerity, asked me who the hell had done that to me. I said, 'Uhhh, you did.' 'BULLSHIT! You're joking!' Finally, I found the cuff keys, and also his meds. Fed him his meds, stayed with him that night. He was up and ready to go to finish things up in about an hour. We still did it." [via]
That must have been so scary! Luckily the girl knew what to do and rolled him into a safe position but yikes, I feel for both of them, especially the guy.
So, there we have it ladies and gentlemen, a few sex stories mixed in with the good, the bad, the ugly and the funny! We hope some of them made you laugh, but also not as embarrassed or ashamed about your own tales as we all have them, whether we’ve shared them out loud or not. Sex can be complicated so there’s bound to be a few hiccups here and there, especially when you start practicing different things or meet someone with a new fetish. I personally love a good sex story, and even if I have a few strange ones of my own, there’s always going to be someone with a worse one to tell!