There are many things in life which are a complete mystery to men.  Why are women always late doing anything?  Why can’t women read road maps?  But the one thing to know about women that would be any use to trans-girls is – how do women walk in heels?  Unfortunately, women seemed to have stopped buying shoes with a heel bigger than the thickness of their iPhone!  The reason?  THEY can’t walk in them either!  Well, ask any trans-girl what is their favourite female item and most will say high heels.  They lengthen your legs, make you walk in a girlie way which moves your buttocks and, best of all, they are sexy as hell!  Any keen shoe-fetishists like me knows all about stilettos, high heeled wedges, sky high boots and strappy sandals.  We know exactly how it feels to strut your stuff in them and the admiring looks we get.  Maybe onlookers are just impressed that we can walk in them at all!

Image by Leandro De Carvalho from Pixabay 

Which brings me to the object of this blog.  How to walk in heels.  Come to that – how do women walk in ANY shoes?  Their hips and legs do things differently to men’s.  If you watch models on a catwalk, they have taken the process to the absolute limit.  They take your basic girlie walk and turn the dial up to eleven!  Their hips are so loose they drop each buttock with every pace, they place each foot crossed over the other so you think they would twist their legs in knots. 

So, the basics are these: have comfy shoes – no matter how high the heel, anything over 3-inch heels will give you vertigo and altitude sickness so keep it simple.  The best-looking heels are your plain black court shoe – no straps, no platform and you can get them anywhere – mine are from Next and Marks and Spencers.  If you have no intention of actually walking anywhere in them – fine buy some 6-inchers with platforms, straps, buckles, etc from your shoe fetish emporiums or online.  But if you intend mixing with other people in the real world, then wear nothing higher than 3-inch.  The general rule is keep your knees and ankles close together at all times, from sitting in an armchair, to getting in and out of a car and most visibly – walking.  Guys sit and walk with legs apart as if to say to the world – get a look at my impressive genitals!  Ladies of course don’t have any collection of soft dangly things between their legs so can keep thighs clamped firmly together. 

So, back to walking.  Assuming you have raised yourself in a lady-like manner from your chair – what next?  Take a step forward.  All ok so far.  Second step should ideally be placed directly in front of the first – and so on.  This makes the female body inherently unstable.  Then, to make this even worse, they are perched on top of killer heels!  Even more unstable!  What do they do to balance this lack of equilibrium?  They use their arms in a similar way as a tightrope walker uses a long pole.  The analogy with tightrope walking continues as they place one foot in front of the other in the same manner.  Next, take smaller steps – ideally landing the heel and toes at the same time not forgetting to sway the arms as a counterbalance for what is going on down below.  Try to avoid looking down at your feet – the odd glance will suffice to ensure you don’t go arse over tit.  OK, so now you can walk in a straight line.  Corners should be taken at a gentle curve – avoid 90 degree turns because your body is heading forward but your feet have already turned left or right!  Practice will eventually make perfect – give it about 10 – 15 years and you may have cracked it.  A dead give-away to spot a lazy trans-girl is one who looks like a receptionist but walks like a night club bouncer!

So, there you have it – women DO walk differently to men, so try watching them in action – it is a revelation and also a miracle that more of them don’t fall over.  But then, they have been taught the art if walking in heels since their first school disco!  Get out there girls – happy mincing!  You will know you have cracked it when a ‘white van man’ toots his horn at you and suggests you and he do something quite unpleasant together!

Angie

If you would like to find a trans support group in your area check out Trans Unite website here.