Ok girls, let us assume you are transgender, in your head at least. Let us assume you have been through the process of buying totally the wrong things to wear. Wrong size, colour, style, shape – just wrong! It’s because you are doing it back to front. You must start with your body, not the clothes. What shape and size are you? Thin and shortish are ideal. Tall and/or large framed are hardest to dress. But not of these matters if you are never going to go out into the big, bad world! You can prance about in a tutu, evening dress, schoolgirl outfit, nurses’ uniform, dominatrix gear, sissy dress, or just sexy undies to your hearts content if you never cross over the front door. Nobody will ever see you (unless you invite them to!) So, it doesn’t matter what size or shape you are. If it makes you happy, relaxed, sexy, desirable or anything you like which has a positive effect on your life.

But what if you want to express yourself outside your house, what then? Be honest, how good do you look dressed as a woman. For instance, which of the following describes best how you look; a big hairy guy in a dress, mutton dressed as lamb, looks like a prostitute, doesn’t dress her age, old fashioned, granny, bimbo, too much makeup, walks like a builder, wrong shoes, built like a body builder, very tall and thin etc. There are a multitude of ways of getting it wrong. I know, I have been many of the above! What you all really need is the view of a disinterested party, i.e., somebody who will tell you where you are going wrong without offending you. If you are lucky enough to have a friend or relative to do this, then ask them. Be prepared for the truth though! It will hurt you, offend you or even make you wonder why you bother dressing at all. As I say, none of this matters a damn if you are happy in your own 4 walls, just wear whatever makes you happy. I did, for years and years! Nobody judged me or said something that was totally unsuitable. The choice is yours. You can go to trans dressing services who will help show you what suits your body shape with colours and styles etc but be prepared to pay a lot for this. Or you can do it the hard way as I did through trail and error, mostly error! The path we have chosen or rather which has been dumped on us is not easy. We can diet and exercise to change our shape. We can remove all body hair and improve our complexion with creams. We can buy expensive wigs, clothes and shoes. At the end of the day though, we must use what God in her infinite wisdom has given us and make the best of it! Will we ever pass as convincing women? Probably not. It is hard these days for real women to look like woman! What chance have we got? Not much!

There is one big difference in 2021. Nobody gives a damn whether we make convincing woman. You don’t believe me? Well, I am living proof. I am tall, mature (okay.. old!) man who dresses as a woman. I am certainly not 100% convincing, although I am occasionally ‘Love’ by some probably visually impaired older gentleman in shops, which, is quite lovely and boosts my confidence a lot. If I dress sensibly and what I wear matches the occasion. I am fine. An evening dress in ASDA might make you stand out like a sore thumb!

So, to sum up: be honest about what suits you, dress sensibly and for the occasion, make the best of what you have got and hide the bits of you which don’t help. Try to improve your body shape, makeup and dress-sense. If none of these appeals or seems too daunting, then don’t put yourself through all this stress. Just enjoy the time you have, to dress at home. It isn’t important, is it? It is just your way of expressing a part of yourself that makes you feel the person you are. Oh, and you could try laughing at yourself! Human beings are completely ridiculous and illogical and, in a world, full of diseases, wars, tragedies, stress, anxiety, pain and suffering what actual harm do thousands of people who dress in the clothes of the opposite sex inflict on society? Bugger all!!

Angie

If you would like to find a trans support group in your area check out Trans Unite website here.